The night the Greendale Tavern [[burned to the ground->a story for another time]] the air was still. Clouds shaded the moonlit sky and the last of the [[cicadas->Cicadas]] sang until dawn.
2:00 AM a [[woman->Faces in the crowd]] walked in.
The man at the counter was closing for the night. The bowling lanes were empty as he organized the bowling balls on the racks that lined the far wall. As the [[fatigue->roads in the forest]] from the long day wore on his body, his movement grew slower and less controlled. His hands [[fumbled->I thought you had left]] and a 10 LB ball dropped to the floor. The woman, who had approached him from behind, leaned down and picked up the bowling ball. [[Methodically->lists]], she placed the ball on the shelf and walked away.
18 minutes later, the man [[locked up->patterns]] for the night. As he stood outside, flipping through his set of [[keys->defense for the defenseless]], he felt a [[shiver->night sweats]] up his arms and legs. It was late September, and the night was cool and windy. The tavern was situated in a valley along the road. Not much surrounded the structure other than forests and fields. It was a bowling alley/tavern actually, but much on the nightly traffic consisted of a group of regulars. Local folks in for a drink or a game. The owner was an older gentlemen, tall in stature. So tall in fact that he was nicknamed [[the Giant->whiskey holler]].
Less than an hour later, the fire department raced along [[State Route 1035->the drive to school]] headed for the Greendale Tavern. Red and orange flames engulfed the valley. The [[VFD->Elvis's cousin]] raced to extiguished the flames, but despite their best efforts the roof collapsed in on itself. The Greendale Tavern was destroyed. More news media than had ever before documented the fire on that crisp morning.
The act of arsen that brought a small buisness to ashes was never solved. The Greendale Tavern has been replaced with [[ministorage units->ministorage]].
(background: #313375)things that melt:
plastic
metal
[[couches->bonfire]]
flesh
[[frogs->Frogs in the Winter]]
butter(live:2s)[
(set: $helloTimer to $helloTimer + 1)
(if: $helloTimer is 3 or $helloTimer > 3)[Buried beneath the dirt for 17 years,]
(if: $helloTimer is 6 or $helloTimer > 6)[they say, ]
(if: $helloTimer is 6 or $helloTimer > 6)[and when they rise, they sing.]
(if: $helloTimer is 9 or $helloTimer > 9)[A hum filled the valleys and hills,]
(if: $helloTimer is 9 or $helloTimer > 9)[for weeks- through the days and nights.]
(if: $helloTimer is 12 or $helloTimer > 12)[The hum grew softer in July,]
(if: $helloTimer is 12 or $helloTimer > 12)[as the cicadas died.]
(if: $helloTimer is 15 or $helloTimer > 15)[Their little bodies attached the foliage,]
(if: $helloTimer is 15 or $helloTimer > 15)[adherring with their tiny claws.]
(if: $helloTimer is 18 or $helloTimer > 18)[Soon enough,]
(if: $helloTimer is 21 or $helloTimer > 21)[they began to rot in the summer sun-]
(if: $helloTimer is 24 or $helloTimer > 24)[decompose-]
(if: $helloTimer is 27 or $helloTimer > 27)[and turn back to the earth. ]
(if: $helloTimer is 36)[(stop:)]]
[[*->The Greendale Tavern]](live:1s)[
(set: $helloTimer to $helloTimer + 1)
(if: $helloTimer is 3 or $helloTimer > 3)[The next time you are in a crowd,]
(if: $helloTimer is 6 or $helloTimer > 6)[pick a face.]
(if: $helloTimer is 9 or $helloTimer > 9)[Give them a name, a story, a place.]
(if: $helloTimer is 12 or $helloTimer > 12)[]
(if: $helloTimer is 15 or $helloTimer > 15)[Watch their tendencies, [[patterns->patterns]], and gestures.]
(if: $helloTimer is 18 or $helloTimer > 18)[What crime would they be wrongfully accused of?]
(if: $helloTimer is 21)[(stop:)]]
[[*->The Greendale Tavern]]When I was 16, my dad took me to hit golf balls. We were on our way back from a driving range close by our house, [[Deertrack Golf Course->Deertrack Golf Course]]. My dad was driving, but it was soon after I had passed my permit test. We were silent.
My father broke the silence, saying, "I'm going to teach you how to drive."
I need not reply, so I sat there and stared at the freckles on my knees.
He continued, "The thing about roads like this is that you have to break into them and accelerate out.
People usually make the mistake of going too fast into a curve. That's how you crash.
Don't do this."
He pushed down on the accelerator, hard. The curve we were approaching had a sign along the road that read "15 MPH". I looked over at the spedometer. The arrow was raising to the "45 MPH" mark.
We were approaching the curve quickly now. My breath was rising in my throat, but I didn't say anything. Just as we went through the turn, he slammed on the breaks, slowing the car.
He looked over at me and said,
"see what you don't want to do?"
"Yeah," I replied.
(live:1s)[
(set: $helloTimer to $helloTimer + 1)
(if: $helloTimer is 9 or $helloTimer > 9)[December 31, 2019]
(if: $helloTimer is 9 or $helloTimer > 9)[]
(if: $helloTimer is 3 or $helloTimer > 3)[I dreamt I fell in love with a man that everyone else saw as a [[sheep->Jesus tattoo]]. I knew my mom and dad would be mad if I wanted to be with a sheep, so we broke up.]
(if: $helloTimer is 21)[(stop:)]]
I wish I remember what its like to [[swim/->red]]
[[*->The Greendale Tavern]]What do you take when you think no one is watching?
A. [[time->Time]]
B. [[money->money]]
C. [[memory->memory]]
[[*->The Greendale Tavern]]When I was a senior in high school, someone's mother came into our religion to teach us about abortion. Technically, she was a family doctor, but she seemed more interested in showing us anti-Planned Parenthood propaganda and traumitizing us.
Towards the middle of the presentation, the woman played us a video of an abortion. The video was an animated depiction of an abortion. The most disturbing parts that were inside the uterus, so we could watch in excruciating detail as a FULLY FORMED baby was dismembered and succtioned out of the uterus.
After the (animated) fetus was succtioned out, they cracked its skull. During this visualization, a boy in my class fainted. His body slumped over in his chair and he kind of shook a little. I jumped out of my seat and laid him down on the floor. I looked up to the doctor for assistance and she was smirking. She said, "See how awful abortion is! Look what it did to poor Ryley," and she pointed to his unconscious body lying in my lap."
This is the [[email->email]] I sent to my religion teacher after class.(live:1.5s)[
(set: $helloTimer to $helloTimer + 1)
(if: $helloTimer is 3 or $helloTimer > 3)[Night Sweats]
(if: $helloTimer is 3 or $helloTimer > 3)[]
(if: $helloTimer is 3 or $helloTimer > 3)[]
(if: $helloTimer is 6 or $helloTimer > 6)[Do you ever ]
(if: $helloTimer is 9 or $helloTimer > 9)[Go to bed on an oppressively hot night]
(if: $helloTimer is 9 or $helloTimer > 9)[and wake up at 4 am completely uncomfortable?]
(if: $helloTimer is 12 or $helloTimer > 12)[Take a hot shower]
(if: $helloTimer is 12 or $helloTimer > 12)[and feel your cheeks burn?]
(if: $helloTimer is 15 or $helloTimer > 15)[Go through menopause]
(if: $helloTimer is 15 or $helloTimer > 15)[and get hot flashes in the middle of a foodcourt in a shitty mall?]
(if: $helloTimer is 18 or $helloTimer > 18)[Walk barefoot on the smoldering concrete]
(if: $helloTimer is 18 or $helloTimer > 18)[and burn the soles of your feet?]
(if: $helloTimer is 21 or $helloTimer > 21)[Find yourself alone in a crowd of people at a gross frat party]
(if: $helloTimer is 24 or $helloTimer > 24)[and have a man press his sweaty body against your back?]
(if: $helloTimer is 27 or $helloTimer > 27)[Dehydration wears on your body]
(if: $helloTimer is 27 or $helloTimer > 27)[and your head is hot and heavy?]
(if: $helloTimer is 30)[(stop:)]]
[[*->The Greendale Tavern]](open-url: "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6tC7xxrIo8")
[[*->The Greendale Tavern]]Every morning I put on the same wrinkle plaid skirt and a button down polyester shirt. I pulled my socks up to my knees and stepped into my beaten up sperry's. On my way out the door, I grabbed my car keys and tied the frayed sleaves of a navy blue sweater around my waist.
At 6:45 in the country, fog settles in the valley. I got in my car and turned up the heater, pressing my frozen fingers to my lips. I would drive down to the spot where the gravel road met the highway, making my way through the mist. My headlights navigated the fog.
As I approached the Kittanning Bridge one morning, the fog was so heavy I couldn't make out the lines on the road or the trees in the distance. Once you reach the bridge, you cannot stop. My elbows shook and I held my breath, but my hands tightly gripped the steering wheel. 65 MPH on Route 28 into a white abyss.
[[*->The Greendale Tavern]]The local grocery store near my home is called Dimaio's. It's along state route 1028. Between Dimaio's and the Greendale Tavern is the VFD. Each spring, the volunteer firefighters host a fundraiser at the grocery store. Preforming live is an Elvis impersonator - the best goddamned Elvis in the whole damned state. He stands on a makeshift stage as costomers pass with their groceries or sit around eating cheese fries served by firefighters on foldable lawnchairs. Parked infront of Elvis are row after row of pickup trucks and maybe a few buggys and a Saturn or two. His set starts- the sound system shrieks, and he starts moving his hips and talk-singing in a deep voice. In that moment, he's not the deli manager's cousin's husband, he IS Elvis.
[[*->The Greendale Tavern]](live:1s)[
(set: $helloTimer to $helloTimer + 1)
(if: $helloTimer is 9 or $helloTimer > 9)[Some crimes don't get solved. Maybe there isn't time, maybe there isn't money. Sometimes everything we own is lost in a fire and all we have left is a lot to store other people's crap. ]
(if: $helloTimer is 9 or $helloTimer > 9)[]
(if: $helloTimer is 3 or $helloTimer > 3)[Aggression isn't linear, but rather circular.]
(if: $helloTimer is 21)[(stop:)]]
[[*->The Greendale Tavern]]Frogs in the Winter
I tend to stay away from amphibians, frogs and toads especially. One summer when I was in elementary school, my brother and dad found a frog skeleton. It sat out on a window sill facing our back yard until we sold our house 6 years later. The bones were thin and brittle. I wondered how the skeleton stayed in tact when time I passed it. Year after year, each little piece endured the weather. The skull, its back, and its tiny, tiny legs, wore over time.
Another summer, my brother found a dead toad and placed it in a metal tim under our back deck. He was waiting for it to decompose so he could have another skeleton. I kept passing the porch. I couldn't help but study the dead toad. After a week or so, its body was bloated and foul smelling. I can still see its bulging eyes and fat middle - a truly nauseating experience.
Each summer around the middle of August and into September, frogs and toads filter around my house. They hop around the driveway and other places lit by artificial light. I figure they are hoping to feast on flies and other insects. I feell so uncomfortable when I see one because their squishy bodies remind me of the bloated toad that kicked the ucket that one summer. The other night, my mom pointed out a frog as we jumped in the car. I asked her what frogs do in the winter. "They hibernate, I assume," she replied.
As it turns out, some frogs and toads bury themselves - conserving energy and gathering warmth from the ground. Other frogs swim the entire winter at the bottoms of lakes and ponds.
Today, I found a dead frog in the middle of the driveway. Its body wasn't bloated though, this frog was melted into the ground. The legs were shriveled and its skin was sticking to the rocks. Bones and guts and skin - that's what a frog is reduced to in a gravel driveway in late August.
[[*->The Greendale Tavern]]In the country, people pile up their trash into mountains and light it on fire. Flames and smoke billow up and around with ash and sparks. Staring into the fire, the talons of flames form these intensely agressive conversations with one another. Light and heat radiate of the burning mass and into the air.
Hair absorbs the fragrance of smoke with great diligence, holding onto the flavor until its next wash. We probably shower too much.
[[*->a story for another time]]A crappy golfcourse in the middle of no-where. I always went for the $1 bucket of golf balls at the driving range. The first time my dad took me I was 13 years old.
I repeatedly hit the golfballs 175 yards with a crappy iron they had leaning against the shelter for the buckets. Impressed, my dad kept saying "WOW" over and over. He would laugh as the ball shot through the air. He called it "natural ability". He made me join the girls golf team as I entered my freshman year of high school.
All six times I cried during high school, I cried because of golf. They call it a mental game, I'd say that's just an excuse to make it expensive and male dominated and pretentious.
[[*->The Greendale Tavern]]Really though, I was in love with a guy with a jesus tattoo.
Which is worse?
[[Jesus tattoo->Jesus tattoo]]
or
[[sheep->I thought you had left]]
[[*->The Greendale Tavern]]Mr. Pater,
I was deeply disturbed and disappointed by Dr. Schroeder’s presentation in class today. While I also agree that abortion a worthwhile topic of discussion, her approach to informing young people of the realities of abortion was misguided. Several of the facts she presented have very little scientific standing, and the videos she showed were traumatizing. All in all, I think there is a better approach to informing young people about this serious issue without demonizing others.
I have done a fair amount of research on abortion, and after the events that took place today, I plan on doing more research. Instead of “unveiling” the “secrets” of medical practice, it would be in the best interest of the students and community to educate one another by asking why women decide to have abortions. One study surveyed women who have had an abortion and asked them why they decided to have an abortion. About 30% of the women surveyed said that it was because they could not afford a child and another 30% of women said it was because they were not ready to raise a child (father not in the picture, too young, not in the right place in life). Another study showed that the majority of women that get an abortion range in age from late teens to late twenties. I think when we demonize women for getting abortions, we forget that raising a child is a serious task. Instead of getting into the politics or even medical aspects of abortions, let's talk about the social aspects that give some women the idea that it is their best option. What systems of oppression make abortion the “best” choice for some women? I think poverty, consent, and social practices all play into these types of decisions. What if we could give people a better option? What if we could implement programs in the community that educate people on childcare, give people access to affordable childcare options, and provide the skills necessary for raising children? I think if we focused on making lives better, we could also reduce the number of women who decide that abortion is their best choice.
Maybe I'm wrong, maybe my suggestion won't help, but all I know is that I was disturbed and many of my classmates were also disturbed by the way the Dr. Schroeder presented her material to our class. I want our actions to speak louder than our words. In this case, a video may make someone faint, but it will not change a life and provide tools to better our society.
Thank you for your willingness to promote effective and respectful dialogue. I wouldn't be contacting you if I didn't think that you would be open minded in finding a new approach to bettering the world we live in and helping others.
Sincerely,
[[Isabel Horgan->Mr. Pater]]
(live:2s)[
(set: $helloTimer to $helloTimer + 1)
(if: $helloTimer is 3 or $helloTimer > 3)[His response was:]
(if: $helloTimer is 6 or $helloTimer > 6)[]
(if: $helloTimer is 6 or $helloTimer > 6)[Dear Isabel,]
(if: $helloTimer is 9 or $helloTimer > 9)[]
(if: $helloTimer is 9 or $helloTimer > 9)[I'm sorry you feel that way.]
(if: $helloTimer is 12 or $helloTimer > 12)[]
(if: $helloTimer is 12 or $helloTimer > 12)[Sincerely,]
(if: $helloTimer is 15 or $helloTimer > 15)[Mr. Pater]
(if: $helloTimer is 36)[(stop:)]]
[[*->The Greendale Tavern]]There's nothing special about the color [[red/->swim]]Being a fetus is the first time you [[swim/->vagina]]
Having a vagina is really [[inconvienent/->Kavanaugh]]
The Kavanaugh [[hearing/->space]]
Space and the sea are probably quite [[similar/->flat black]]
I think we should paint walls [[flat black/->alone]]
I never feel alone when I am [[alone/->me]]
I wonder if I am as competent as I think I [[am/->R]]
I write all of my R's [[uppercase/->sheep]]
Sheep [[art/->vernacular]]
A million inconsistancies in everyday [[vernacular/->spelling]]
I got a "C" in thrid grade [[spelling/->lists]]4. A ten dollar bill you found in the pocket of the jeans you borrowed from a friend.
5. The moment you throw out a bag of rotten asparagus.
6. Ten tiny jewels that hang around your neck.
[[*->patterns]]1. Seven hours of a netflix tv show
2. An entire bag of chips
3. A series of unrelated hookups
[[*->patterns]]Every time you recall a memory, it changes.
So why do we hold on to the truth?
[[*->patterns]]